I feel somewhat at odds with the other people in my first year law class. My slight discomfort is because many of them are studying law solely in the pursuit of justice—or, as they define it to me, making things “ethically right” in the world. While a lofty goal (and I first considered law because of an injustice I was faced with in the workplace), I feel that pursuing justice for its own sake is a hopeless exercise. “Justice” is one of those words, like “love”, whose meaning is defined differently by everyone who uses it. It’s a feeling-word for many people, supported by the fact that they think it relates to some absolute ethical truth. Now, whether there is an absolute ethical truth is up for debate, but when it comes to the law, I think we can only strive towards what’s right and wrong in our own heads. A personal justice. To me, the law has very little to do with justice, though through the law we can manipulate what is viewed as “right” and “wrong” in our society. It’s an important distinction.
I see the law as being something that prevents our own basic humanity from destroying us—a buffer of sorts. Taking that a step further, law is also a medium for lasting (and immediate) change to a whole population. Laws change the course of history within one person’s lifetime—that power can either improve on basic humanity, or reward it. And while I would be willing to concede that my cynicism is due largely to my life experiences, I cannot shake the feeling that we are untrustworthy, selfish, shortsighted and narcissistic. Coming from a natural-science background, I recognize all of these traits as evolutionarily advantageous. However, I don’t think this is a common perception because it puts us on equal footing with other animals and plant life that are also governed by the natural order. The fact that we deny the equal value of all life leads to injustice. We need the law because we are brutes.
We make ourselves out to be superior, granting ourselves the right to destroy and deplete as we see fit. This is one reason I feel that law isn’t about doing what’s right—it’s about control and mediation, and shifting the human psyche towards self-awareness.
To me, studying law is a means to an end. It’s about communication. If one person is to change the world, perhaps even spark that shift in human psyche, they have to be able to connect and communicate. I think an enforceable medium, like the law, is ideal for this shift. And law school will also have the added advantage of opening up new lines of communication; a new language, a new view of how the world works. And on top of that I will gain the skills to become a kind of translator between two worlds: the world I am invested in both intellectually and emotionally, and human society as a whole. But no—I’m not idealistic. All I look forward to is the chance to be an effective translator. Maybe I can make individual lives better in the pursuit of justice, but justice in and of itself is not compatible with humanity as we are now (and have been).
I first became aware of these things when I was a child, helping my mother in the garden. I was lucky in so many ways, because my parents were always there to teach and explain how the world worked. In my childlike wonder, such information was better than anything else they could have offered me. I loved the outdoors and exploring the creatures and plants that inhabited it. At that young age my self-recognition was all wrapped up in the dirt and weather and my animal neighbors. And then I reached school age and discovered how cruel the human-animal was. Not only that, but I discovered that my own species did not live in the same earthy sphere that I did. Their world was one of plastic and packaged food that I did not understand. While I tried, as I think every child tries to fit in with their peers, the disconnect the other children had with the Earth was baffling to me. Even today I cannot comprehend a world where I didn’t know where things come from.
It’s in this way that I truly feel human—that what I don’t know is an invasion to me; base and undesirable.
If I were without monetary or time limitations, I’d protect the things that are good to me. In all likelihood this would mean buying up wilderness land for preservation around the world. The Nature Conservancy has the right idea in this one—political reform is great, but if you own the land your say over it is more persuasive. And it gives you time to make that necessary reform, another buffer within which the wilderness can be preserved. If I could funnel money into the educational system I think the positive impact worldwide would be great. With knowledge comes power—and its power with a focused purpose that would make the most difference.
Then there all the small things that feel huge to me—the ability I’d suddenly have to buy up land for the more selfish purpose of finally having a home I can breathe in. More than that—I want to start an equine rescue for older cast-offs. While depressing, because you always lose some, the day-to-day routine of care of disabled horses would keep me focused and inspired. There is nothing more rewarding than taking an emaciated old soul who has given their whole life and being to a person, only be tossed out like garbage, and bringing them back from that death. I love feeling the difference as flesh grows over knotted ribs. I love watching them eat comfortably again after years of having a mouth full of sores. The slow process of re-shaping abused feet and making it comfortable to stand again is rewarding. And there is joy in watching them as they play in the field with their friends—cantering through the arthritis and grooming each other with yellowed teeth—and knowing that you played some part. And finally, the light that comes back into their eyes when they forget what despair feels like. It’s a small happiness compared to saving the world, but there are few things sweeter in life.
And eventually—for again, the law is a means to an end—getting “justice” for the abuse these horses suffered. The same abuse that so many living things are dealt without due process. Making “justice” more than just an unfathomable ideal in the court of law. Giving it precedent that will change the course of the human view of the world. Speaking up for the creatures that have no voice in society, by manipulating what holds society together piece by piece. At some point it may not matter that humanity is brutish—an enforceable set of rules might be able to contain the worst of it. I’m not even sure I would need all the money and time in the world to achieve that. With help, and probably my entire lifetime, a difference can be made. Even if the things I love only last a minute more in time because of my efforts, it would be a life well spent. It will be an upstream swim, but the things I want to fight for more than deserve. And at the very least, I won’t have a moment of boredom!
I can tell law school is going to be a blast.
No comments:
Post a Comment